wentnuclear | [ reverie inbox ]

[Mako lets out a contented sigh, eyes closing when he presses closer. There are times when she wishes they could just stay like this forever, as irrational and ridiculous a thought as it is. Ever since they started sharing a bed, it's been getting harder and harder to keep her distance.

The comment about Yancy snaps her out of those thoughts, though. She's wondered that, sometimes. What Yancy would think of her, as a person and as a copilot to his little brother. Everything she knows about Yancy is filtered through Raleigh, aside from the endless dossiers and mission reports she's read through, but...]

I think I would have liked him, too.

[ If he knew she was wondering, he'd just double down on it. He's super biased, but what's not to like about Mako, really? ]

We butted heads all the time, you know. I think you would've liked him better than me. I was cocky and reckless. Besides, Yancy was always better than me at everything. Drove me sort of crazy.

[Mako lets out a little huff of a breath.]

I doubt that's true.

[Talk about biased.]

[ Raleigh hums his disagreement, but his voice is fairly light when he speaks again considering the topic. ]

It's totally true. He was smarter, stronger, always picked things up faster. He was the natural, the golden boy. Even better with girls. Sometimes I felt like I was just along for the ride.

Better with girls?

[Raleigh please.]

Most people considered both of you the golden boys.

My record didn't mention the time we almost got booted from the program because we were fighting over a groupie?

[ He shrugs a little, the movement shifting her against him -- he hasn't let go. ]

I guess we both were. But Yancy more than me. Just... better.

[She shifts, trying to peek up at him.]

I haven't heard that story.

Well. It's not flattering. We used to hit the bars to pick up girls together... I thought this one was interested in me, but Yancy got the date and didn't tell me. I saw them through the drift during a simulation and got pissed, and it sort of spiraled. Brought up all these other issues we had with each other. We were heading into active duty but Pentecost said if we kept fighting we were out.

I'm surprised he didn't report it.

[Mako hums quietly, not quite sure what to say to that. It's... not exactly flattering, he's right.]

...Maybe he was giving you a second chance.

[ Sorry, Mako. He's not proud of it at all, but it's the truth. ]

He did. And we got over it, obviously. Nothing like that ever happened again.

[Mako just nods against him.]

I still don't think that makes him better than you.

I mean, I can't exactly prove it, here. Can't pull up report cards or drift to show you that he won our spars, anything like that. But I can tell you that's what happened, and that Yancy was the one who always came out on top.

...until I made the wrong call.

[That's not entirely the point she's trying to make. She doesn't care about grades or sparring records or anything else, just Raleigh. Who he is. But none of that seems as important when he finishes his thought. Mako pulls away to look up at him, arms still looped around his middle, her voice quiet.]

Raleigh, that wasn't your fault.

[ His original point was that she only knows who he is now. Not then -- he was someone totally different. ]

I know. I know, and we've had this conversation before. Sorry.

It's okay.

[She doesn't mind talking about it as much as he needs to. No one has ever survived what Raleigh did, and Mako knows she's the only one who can come close to getting it, considering she's been in his head. It's the least she can do.]

You don't believe me, do you?

...I want to? I believe that you believe it. It's just hard to change what I feel.

[Mako nods, tightening her grip on him.]

I don't think he would want you to blame yourself.

I know. That I do believe, and it helps too. Like you.

[That makes the color rise right to her cheeks, but she smiles.]

You help me, too. I'm glad you became my copilot.

I do?

[ He's not sure quite how... he tries to be a steady presence for her, knowing she's still in pain. But she hasn't really talked about it. ]

[It throws her off. She blinks up at him, wondering how it hasn't been obvious.]

Of course. I've never been able to... to talk to anyone as easily as you.

[ Raleigh's brow furrows slightly, and he rubs his hand between her shoulders, considering that. ]

We haven't really, though. Talked about you. I know it's hard to figure out where to start, but I'd listen if you wanted to.

[She frowns, gaze dropping. He's right—she's really not sure where to start.]

I miss him.

Do you draw him too?

Yes. I draw all of them.

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